oscillons

I have been drawing for three years now. To qualify that statement more, I have been drawing in earnest for three years. As in, intentionally attempting to make improvements and progress.

I'd like to think I've learned a lot. I have faithfully applied what I have learned in my execution:




If you want to know the truth, the outcome is better than I originally anticipated in 2016. More than ever though, I am fully aware of my ignorance and inadequacy in many aspects of the technical act of painting and drawing. The learning never ends!

Now I am going to write some thoughts I have had during this time. They are only the observations of a novice describing the undertaking of a lifelong learning process. A lot of people on DA are aspirational artists, so maybe they will be useful for you?

Why?

Art is an intensely personal undertaking. It makes you vulnerable in many unexpected ways, and it can be emotionally and physically debilitating in the worst cases. You are potentially subjecting yourself to pure torture.

So if you think you want to be an artist, really ask yourself: Why? What do you think the outcome will be?

It's essential to know the answer because you are going to spend a non-insignificant portion of your life mastering this skill. These are costs you will realistically never get back, so you had better love it!

You can find love in the finished product, or the mechanical act of drawing itself, or learning, or whatever. The point, though, is you need to be personally satisfied and motivated. Because:

No one else will keep you going.
No one will force your hand to the paper/tablet.
No one else will do it for you.

Expectations

Now for my most important point. If you know 'why' now it's time to understand your expectations. The truth is your art is probably going to suck, perhaps for a long time. Maybe even forever!

To that, though, I say 'so what?'

There is no version of yourself out there making anything better. You can not obstruct your progress with the belief that your work isn't adequate until it reaches some arbitrary standard. This is pure vanity, and will only result in ultimate failure.

If you think your art sucks, just let it suck. You created it. Now it's time to own it!

You must have the confidence, conviction, and courage to accept that what you are making today is your best work. If you don't stop learning and working, better things will always be ahead of you!

Survivorship Bias

Now my last, quick point. People tend to compare themselves to others. Beyond being extraordinarily unrealistic and unproductive, it's also illusory. Here's why:

For every hot shot, big deal, fantastic artist out there that you worship, there are 100 who failed. The internet is littered with the desiccated remains of people's hopes and dreams. They've just been forgotten.

To replicate success, you must understand that there is only one thing in common between successful people: they never quit.

this gets commented often so I am giving the blanket answer. i dont think this question is (usually) asked in bad faith. a lot of people who are into BE/chounyuu like weight and transportation considerations, and i completely understand where they're coming from. it's a fun and perhaps erotic topic to imagine how a girl with house sizes breasts gets around!

that said I don't personally find it very interesting. to be honest I think it has been done to death over the years. you either have to pick some hard sci-fi concept (anti-gravity bras, lightweight implant filler) or a fantasy concept like a wizard did it

so I don't feel like I can contribute anything novel or unique or worthwhile regarding the subject right now. I haven't spent much time thinking about it tbh. if I do decide in the future to broach this subject and incorporate an explanation into the universe, I will shamelessly retcon it in!

so in conclusion:

Q: How do these girls with 100 ton breasts move around?
A: They just can

A few months ago I found out that a friend I had known for 20 years committed suicide. He was one of the people who got me excited about programming and computers early in my teens (it's my career, if you didn't know)

I've personally struggled with years-long depression episodes, and I can imagine the hopelessness he was experiencing. That is what leaves me haunted: we were similar people. We came from the same place. I likely wouldn't be who I am today without him.

Unfortunately his life had taken a different trajectory than mine. Now he has no chance for redemption. 

It's a rather anodyne and trite message, but if you feel suicidal: please find help. No matter how lonely or depressed or worthless you feel, you will leave a bigger wake of despair by killing yourself.

(A page for fetish artwork probably isn't the best place for a message like this but I need to get it off my chest, thanks!)